Wow, that long???

It has been a really long time since I have posted anything.  I think I felt that if I stopped, the thought of having Cancer would not creep up in the back of mind on a daily basis.   That hasn’t worked.  Things are good, I am fast approaching the 3 year mark after I finished Chemo (May 13) which makes me 2 year out from my 5 since diagnosis!  Five is a very important number because you are not considered in remission until you have past 5 years of NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE.  It also is easing my mind because with the type of Colorectal Cancer, reoccurrence is within 2-21/2 years.

A lot of things have changed since that fateful day and a lot of things have not.  I definitely celebrate each birthday and other event with more joy and emotion than life before.  Even though some may not see it, the little things are so much more important.  I am seeing my children grow and go on to be successful adults.  I still love my frustrating husband and have an even greater appreciation of loving your exact opposite.

This post is not a debby downer, it’s as it has always been a place to vent and update and be whatever.  I am happy with my life but most of all I am happy that I am alive and sometimes in a crazy world we forget how important that is.

THINGS HAVING CANCER TAUGHT ME:

·        You are never alone

·        Your realize who your Real friends are and they are NOT who you thought

·        Strangers are just unmet friends

·        Your family really will do anything for you

·        Beauty is no longer an appearance trait but a soul trait

·        EVERY LITTLE THING MATTERS

·        Make memories whenever you can

* DO WHAT YOU LOVE.... with that being said, I will be updating this blog on a not so frequent basis as I move on to doing what I love..so check out my NEW blog  @ www.ideaqueen.blogspot.com

I am so GOOD!

I can not believe it has been so long since I updated!!! The scan is clear! YEA! I am on my way to remission! What a trying but blessed experience this was. I hated that I had cancer,but I have a whole new perspective on myy life. I appreciate everyone and everything more. Little stuff matters.

I am starting to feel whole again. Cancer is not the first thought on my mind every morning or the last one when I go to sleep. I want to thank everyone for all the support while I was dealing with it all. Now, I am coming back!


Please check your butts! Its all so important. My journey has been successful mainly for all the love and support of new and old friends.

Scan tomorrow

Ok so tomorrow is the DAY. The day to know if all the treatment was worth it. I am totally freaking out! I had a panic attack getting the drinks...that yucky stuff you have to drink so that all the little cancer cells will light up. I think I am more scared about this, than any of the other stuff. Its been a hellish ride and I hope the end is near!

Everybody just says that everything will ok. But they have not clue, it's like waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like a lottery.. did I win??? I don't know and this is the final scratch on the ticket! I thought I would be excited but I am scared. Scared that the cancer is still here. Scared that I wasn't strong enough to fight it. Scared that I haven't lived enough.

The worest thing is I probly wont get the results for a whole nother week! This is just nerve racking but I hope and pray that all will be fine. I am strong, I am a fighter and I won the battle, now its time to win the war!

Buying a Scale

Buying a Scale

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I am a Human Landfill!

I am starting a new chapter! A more healthlier ME! Notice I didn't say Skinner! I feel being healthlier will benefit me for than saying I want to lose weight! Even though ultimately that is the goal. I found a wonderful person to help me along this journey.. Grethen at GST fitness! My first task send her an email with what I typically eat in a day! I must say that just writing it out.. Grossed me out! I decided to keep a food journal, maybe I 'll hestitate eating that candy bar, if I know I have to write it down. She also suggested I get a scale! Been avoiding that one, who wants a daily reminder of how big they are????

All can hope for is postive change and that this will help me remain cancer free. I am amazed that I don't have other health issues!

So we are off, are you going to continue with me on this new adventure???

Amazing People

I am still amazed by the people that come into life and offer assistance , some without even knowing me. I have truely been blessed with friends.. old and new. Not much i s going on health wise. I am still getting very tired but I am so energized. I am glad I did the surgery and even more grateful that it is working. Not perfectly but working.

I have set a new goal for myself and that is to get HEALTHY! I am not saying LOSE WEIGHT because I really do want to be healthy and I think the weight lose will be an added benefit. I am debating about documenting my new GET HEALTHY KAT journey let me know what you think?

In the last three days, several (more than one ) have told me that I am AMAZING. HUH, I just consider myself lucky to be able to give back and be there for others. I never thought I was anything special but maybe I am . I know that I am who I am because of the people in my life. I reconnected with an OLD friend. Isn't amazing how the bonds we forge early in life can be the stronges? I am also amazed by the instant connection I have with friends I have met recently. I am trying to reconnet with everyone, so if we have been unable to meet up forever. LEts do it. You never know when life will throw you a loop. Till another day... and remember to CHECK Your Butt.

I did It.

I did not realize that it has been so many months since I have blogged. Things have been crazy busy.

ALL my kids are now in school for some part of the day! Who ever thought this would happen. I can not believe how grown they are. Tony and me are always telling the kids how proud of them we are.. today I told Lorenzo that I was proud of him for being such a good boy on his field trip. (he went to the pumpkin patch with his headstart class) And he asked me are you "Proud of me like Dad is??" Who knew, how important little things are. He is definately the comedian of the family and so funny. Gotta love my Lenny!

Another major sadness for me is that Rachael is once again living with her grandmother. I am not going to go into details but at best she should know that we all miss her and maybe some days we just don't laugh as much.

The biggest news is......... I AM RECONNECTED AND THE PLUMBING WORKS!!!!!

I finally scheduled the surgery and went in on Octiber 12 to get rid of the ileostomy bag! I must say that I was nervous and really not sure if I wanted to do it. I was mostly afriad of it not working or having to wear adult diapers forever. Once you have the bag, you adjust to it and its really not as "bad" as it is. Anyways, everyone else felt I really needed to get this done and well I wasn't sure and I can't even say I was exicted about it.

But now that I did it, I feel DIFFERENT! I feel BETTER. I know I am still suffering the side effects from the chemo but I feel so much better. I think it was a head thing. Now I am waiting for the wound to finish healing so I can move on to the next phase in my life. Whatever that may be. October is Breast Cancer awarness month. I am glad that so many women are behind the cause and supporting it. I am also JEALOUS. Most have heard my rants about other cancers (ie Colon) not getting enough funding because BC is consumming all the dollars. Just when you think about BC also think about the other cancers! And as always... check your butts!